So this thing, this transformation thing that I am working on, is encompassing. I can't just work on the fitness and not on the mental, or work on the mental and not on the emotional etc. Every part of me is in the process of change. How I feel about myself, how I feel about others, how I react to situations, what I want, what I can live with or can't live with...EVERYTHING. At 29 I'm desperately trying to find my way-my way out of the fog that I had been in, and the way to how I want to live and raise my children and grow as a child of God.
I can feel the change, but it is hard. I was told once that when we grow it may look like we are breaking, but we have to break in order to stretch and put down roots. Although my summary didn't do it justice, the sentiment can be felt. I feel like maybe the breaking and stretching is starting to finish a bit and that I have at least put down one root. I LOVE that feeling.
My ultimate goal will be to have my body and mind be equal. Something that I have never had. I don't know if it will bring me full peace, but it will bring me to a place that I am able to be a vessel for God and for other opportunities, not so caught up in my own drama and angst.
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