Transformation requires all of you

So this thing, this transformation thing that I am working on, is encompassing. I can't just work on the fitness and not on the mental, or work on the mental and not on the emotional etc. Every part of me is in the process of change. How I feel about myself, how I feel about others, how I react to situations, what I want, what I can live with or can't live with...EVERYTHING. At 29 I'm desperately trying to find my way-my way out of the fog that I had been in, and the way to how I want to live and raise my children and grow as a child of God. 

I can feel the change, but it is hard. I was told once that when we grow it may look like we are breaking, but we have to break in order to stretch and put down roots. Although my summary didn't do it justice, the sentiment can be felt. I feel like maybe the breaking and stretching is starting to finish a bit and that I have at least put down one root. I LOVE that feeling. 

My ultimate goal will be to have my body and mind be equal. Something that I have never had. I don't know if it will bring me full peace, but it will bring me to a place that I am able to be a vessel for God and for other opportunities, not so caught up in my own drama and angst.

New Beginnings

So much has changed since the last time that I posted. It is overwhelming to even start in declaring all of the changes. The title of this blog, Transforming Jem, is so very fitting for how my life is now. The major change is that I am now a single woman. My husband and I split up 5 months ago. It definitely wasn't what I wanted or saw coming, so the aftermath of that has been trial filled but I am coming over the hill to the better side. I also have a full time job that I didn't have last time I blogged. My baby is now 2, my little man is pushing 5 and we have moved to a different town. Life is busy and tiring, but I am also trying to get a handle on my weight and fitness.

It was a difficult year to say the least, and when I am stressed, upset, bored, anxious, overwhelmed, etc I eat. I am trying to change this, though. I need the change.

So this is what I have been doing so far:
I have joined the local gym
I have joined a boot camp class that meets once a week, but it requires food tracking and exercising throughout the week
I have bought a new jogging stroller so that I can get out with my kids
I have signed up for a 10K race in June, and the Tartan Twosome (5K Friday night/10 K Saturday morning) in September

Things I need to get doing:
Stop eating so much
Drink more water
Get more sleep
Move more
Stop letting my emotions dictate my working out/eating
When I am working out, keep my heart rate elevated.

I am actually going to try to keep blogging throughout this whole process. This process of becoming the woman and Mom that I want to be.

Thinner Thursday-Feb 7th

So I didn't weigh myself this morning. Partly because I don't want to know my weight, and partly because I have made the decision that I was going to take a 3 week break from weighing myself. These past two weeks have been difficult. I've been sick with the flu, and then a cold, during this time and have not been able to exercise as intensely as I would like. Also, since I have been sick, overtired, stressed etc, I haven't been eating well.

So starting today, I'm going back to writing down what I eat. I eat less, and eat better, when I am writing down what I am eating. Seeing it on paper makes me realize how much snacking I do during the day, which of course contributes to not shedding the weight as quickly as I would like.

I am enjoying my new workouts, though, and I am seeing increases in my strength. I'm doing a program from simplyshredded.com, and here is the breakdown.

Monday-Upper Body A
Tuesday-Lower Body A
Wednesday- OFF
Thursday-Upper Body B
Friday-Lower Body B
Saturday-OFF
Sunday-OFF

With these workouts, is also a cardio component, but I have not started it yet. It involves a 10-15min HIIT followed by 15-30 min low intensity cardio sessions in the mornings of each day that I do weights.

There is also a nutritional plan for the program, which I may start trying to follow. I need to plan and organize my days better so that I am not crashing with low energy resulting in me eating food to get quick energy. I need the proper food and the proper timing of eating to make sure that I stay energized all day long.

If I get brave enough, I think that tomorrow I'll take some pictures and start a weekly picture progress series to see if there are any changes, especially since I am holding off on weighing myself.

Thinner Thursday...a day late

I didn't get to write yesterday, but better late then never. I have decided that I am going to take a break from the scale. I'm not going to weigh myself for three weeks. The scale said I gained two pounds this week, but I don't feel that is a true representation of what has happened this week. I've leaned out, and am starting to get the shape that I want. So, instead of getting discouraged, I'm going to focus on what I should be doing-eating better and working out. I'm going to start taking pictures, taking my measurements, and rating my progress on how my clothes feel and look.

I've started a new workout this week, and so far I really like it. I've been sore from a few of the workouts, so that always makes me feel good. I'll explain the program next week.

Thinner Thursday

I had a bit of a set back this week. According to the scale I gained a pound this week. I'm not that surprised. I didn't get enough sleep, drink enough water, do much cardio, and I was pretty slack with my eating habits. So I'm not terribly surprised. Yet, my husband, and a woman I know, have told me lately that I was leaning out. I'm beginning to think that I need to spend less time looking at the numbers on the scale, as they are not always the true reflection of progress. I think that I'm going to start taking pictures and taking my measurements instead. I think that will help me stay motivated, although I'll probably still be checking my weight.

I was pretty excited today, because my husband sent me a link to a website while I was at work, that had a lot of good information on fitness and training. There was a workout plan on that website, and I think that I will start it on Monday. I was excited to have the new information, but what I was more excited about was that he was thinking about me and that he is encouraging what I am trying to do.

Getting fit, and in the best shape of my life, is what I want. I am going to surround myself with people and things that will help me achieve my goals and keep me motivated.

Here we go...

I have always been a fuller-figured girl. Never the skinny one, but not really the morbidly obese either. Always self-conscious, always unsure of myself. Although I have had a somewhat active life, my love affair with food, has always kept me from the body that I would like. Food has been a friend, a comfort, a boredom filler, among other things. I have never looked at food the way that I should-as fuel for my body, and just that. I enjoy food, I like strong flavours, and when I am eating something that I like, it is hard for me to listen to my body and stop eating when I am not hungry any longer.

That needs to change.

After two pregnancies, I am not looking the way that I would like. It took me about two years to lose the baby weight after my first child...just in time to get pregnant again. I had good intentions when pregnant with my girl. I wasn't going to gain as much weight as with my son-instead I gained 18 pounds more than the first time. 56 lbs in total. My little one is now almost 9 months old, and I am still 20 lbs away from pre-pregnancy weight. So that is my first goal, to get back to where I was spring/summer of 2011.

I don't want to stop there, though. I like working out, and I have a big dream for where I want to take my body, my nutrition, and in turn my mental health. The fitter I get, the happier I am. I want to be the happy person that I think is hiding. It will make me a better wife, mother, friend and all around person.

This blog is going to be my platform. A place where I can track my progress, share recipes, explain my workout routines, and hold myself accountable. I want to encourage other people, who are like me. I might not have all of the resources that others might have, but I have a drive, determination, and a supportive family.